Leaving your wealth to your children is something that most Millionaires and Billionaires disagree with. I came across a poll by a famous internet marketer the other day that asked would you leave your money to your kids?
At first, I thought yes sure why not, I would teach them to be responsible with their money before they acquired an inheritance.
Thinking now, my thoughts have changed. Although I would leave some of my wealth or if not all to my daughter there would be a stipulation clause that she would have to adhere to before she could get her hands on it.
Currently, she has just started Marketing and Business Management at Cardiff Metropolitan University and is in a relationship with a person I disapprove of. I am hoping that as the weeks, months progress she will meet other people and re-evaluate her boyfriend’s choices without me interfering.
His attitude towards me and body language says it all and if he could he would have whisked her away a long time ago but she wants to live with me for the time being as deep down I think she knows this person she calls her boyfriend is not a perfect match for her.
Imagine if I popped my clogs and he ended up rolling around in the wealth my daughter inherited I would be coming back to haunt him. This is similar to someone associated in my family that is rolling around in money after my brother’s passing. She now sits on her almighty throne and has bitten the hand that feeds her. Had my brother been alive today and knew I reached out to her and she did not help me (it was not financial help btw, it was something else), I am sure he would not have left her a single penny.
So I have thought and need to re-write my will that my daughter only inherits my assets on the condition her current boyfriend (L) is not in the picture. However, she could easily get around this if he was. So I am now thinking of skipping a generation entirely or donating all my wealth to charity. Over my dead body is he going to get any of the money I have worked really hard for.
He cannot stand me and the feeling is mutual, when he comes into my home he never says hello, and whilst in Lockdown last year he did not once thank me or buy me a box of chocolates or flowers. He tells lies and accuses me of things I have not said or done, hoping to drive a wedge between my daughter and I. Hoping my daughter will choose him over me.
Imagine if they got married God forbid but imagine if they did, I have absolutely nothing in common with this family and certainly would not want to be associated with them or be in the same room as them.
The thing is “he who laughs last laughs the longest” so if they do happen to stay together, imagine when he learns my daughter was penalized financially because he showed me no respect.
Being happy for your child means you are happy for the right choices they make not the bad ones. How can you be happy for a child who has made the wrong choice? You cannot say well they have to live with it, sure, but what parent stands by and lets their child suffer? Yes, you are supposed to love your child unconditionally but to support your child when they have done wrong makes you a bad parent.
A parent that can foresee the future of the consequences of their child’s actions is not going to let them ruin their lives. I wish my parents had intervened when I was in my teens and early 20’s. They should have been more assertive with me and said this is what is going to happen and you have to do and this or else and who you should stay clear from. However, I never had a close relationship with my parents until the latter years.
I was fortunate in the fact none of my boyfriend’s parents especially their mother’s liked me. I came from a working-class background whilst my boyfriends came from the middle class, so the classes clashed.
Not only that my parents were foreign and even though my father came to the UK during WWII and was granted permanent residency by Winston Churchill because he fought with the British and was awarded a medal of honor, it still makes my blood boil that only a few days ago my parents by someone who is well educated and I have known for nearly 40 years, was labeled immigrants when in fact they were nothing of the sort, as my father had dual nationality and so did my mother after the ‘Home Office’ suggested a marriage proposal for her to stay in the UK indefinitely.
So looking back I understood my parents and my life choices that could have been avoided, but I do not blame them as it was my choice at the end of the day as it is now, hence, hopefully, my daughter will understand me when the time comes.
You can read about famous people not leaving money to their children below:
The COVID-19 pandemic has kept most of us confined to our homes, but this doesn’t mean that your search for the perfect home should be shelved, too. In fact, the current economic situation could very well turn into a buyer’s market, making it an opportune time to continue your house-hunting efforts.
But of course, with social distancing measures in place, this can seem next to impossible. However, the fact remains that there are numerous online tools and resources that you can use—not just to search for your dream home, but even to look at it up close and personal and ultimately close the deal. The best thing is, you don’t even have to leave home to do so. Here’s how.
Heard of the saying “this is a man’s world”, well things are changing long have the days gone when the women were supposed to be the housewife and the man the bread winner. However, in eastern countries it is still expected that the women to stay at home, whilst the man goes out to provide for his family. Our cultural upbringing shows how women have been treated through out the ages and what is expected of them. More and more women around the world are starting to stick up for their rights and their equalities. Men should not be in a position to dictate but to accept that a woman can do the same job if not better.
The main reason why women do not go into business is because:
1). It is a cultural problem where the woman’s place is in the kitchen and in the bedroom (Sexist ideology, not mine may I add) You may be shocked by my allegations but in Saudi Arabia this is the norm. Women are suppressed and must have a legal guardianship such as a father, brother, uncle, son or spouse that dictates to them what they can and can’t do. They are not given the same opportunities as men in the workplace. Women do not have free movement like their western counterparts. Women are not deemed as equal and often are discriminated upon. Furthermore, although not as extreme if you consider western women also face problems of discrimination as raising a family may interfere in a career move and are often not considered for these roles for those reasons. Women are more reluctant to be their own boss because of family commitments.
Difficulty Getting Finance
2) Women also find funding more difficult as the men that control the purse stings usually bank managers do not encourage women entrepreneurship. A group of women Samantha Cameron, Mary Portas and Karren Brady, submitted an open letter to the Government, highlighting the chronic and unfair finance gap faced by female entrepreneurs. It has been found that around one third of women say access to funding was their biggest barrier to starting a business, compared to 20% of men. A similar proportion state funding as a barrier to expanding an existing business. (Rose Review of Female Entrepreneurship, HM Treasury 2019).
Women are less likely be considered for a loan or private equity investment because it is perceived that women are less trust worthy, with male entrepreneurs receiving 86% domination more venture capital. However, when women secure investment, women’s businesses show returns of 20 per cent more revenue with 50 per cent less money invested (Untapped Unicorns, Female Founders Forum/ Barclays 2017) The reason for this is women are more careful with their money and take less risks.
10% of women are more likely to see finance as their only barrier to entrepreneurship, rather than men.
Recent evidence from the UK Survey of SME Finances reported that women were charged more than men on term loans (2.9% vs. 1.9%). (You don’t say…… and I wonder how that could possibly have happened when we are supposed to live a fair and transparent world…..me being sarcastic) No other study has found such a large difference in loan terms, and this result needs further research and explanation (ibid Carter & Shaw 2006).
3) Social, Psychological barriers and bias against women
From my own experience I have been told to leave it to the boys in the past as I will lose the client because he is biased towards women and will not take me seriously. So regardless if you are in an office environment it is not always your colleagues that are the problem but the social block of other cultures coming from the client’s perspectives. So although there is no evidence to suggest women can perform poorly to men it all boils to down to culture.
4). Fear of failure
Only 1 in 8 women start-ups’ in the UK because of psychological barriers, mainly to do with financing. The thought of failing and then been ridiculed by a spouse or partner can be too much to bear. Imagine the “I told you so” scenario in which you must eat humble pie. Compared to men women find it difficult to start again and take risks. So although there may be six million businesses currently active in the UK, just 20% are run by female entrepreneurs. Women were 55% more likely than men to fear going it alone as a primary reason for not starting a business. (Rose Review of Female Entrepreneurship, HM Treasury 2019) It has been discovered that 39% of women are deemend as confident in their capabilities of starting a business themselves compared to 55% of men. This is a perceived figure in ability, rather than an actual one in skill sets. (Rose Review of Female Entrepreneurship, HM Treasury 2019)
5 Networking and Mentors
I do not have a mentor per se but I do follow one particular women in the UK called ‘Baroness Michelle Mone’. I have never met her but I do admire her and one day aspire to meet her acquaintance.
This women is a superwoman in my eyes with all the trauma she endured and struggles but came out smelling of roses on the other side. “Baroness Michelle Mone” is an entrepreneur and an MP for Scotland who was awarded an OBE, she was also the founder of a Lingerie Company called ‘Ultimo’ which she later sold and now does Motivational Speaking and owns a tanning company called ‘Utan’ she also designs jewellery onQVC and does interior design.
Women need women to give them moral boosts of encouragement. Women understand women and find it easier to discuss business with other women. Finding a mentor can be difficult and costly and there are not many about considering how many women are in business. Try joining groups on social media rather than membership sites, unless you can afford it that is. Do however go to network events that may cost you about £25 for Business Breakfast or Canapes & Cocktails Event in the evening.
Women find it also difficult to network as they need to have to have a lot of connections in order to find the right kind of people. But like I said before times are changing and the internet is evolving so eventually business will be conducted online. LinkedIn is one of my favourite portals to finding connections and there are plenty of groups to join. So, marketing yourself is the first steps to connecting with like-minded people.
I personally do not have a problem connecting with both men and women. The internet is a God save to meeting people for real. I have successfully made business with people without having to meet them in person. You do need to be available for a chat on the phone or a video meeting, this shows transparency and shows that you are approachable and trust worthy.
6 Growing a family whilst working
Sometimes weighing up the pro’s and cons of running a business and juggling family life can be off putting because if a women has to care for the children meaning taking them to school and dropping everything if they fall ill, this can have adverse effects on a business. However, having back up plans can save an entrepreneur in difficult times. Some women pay for childcare whilst others try to do it alone both juggle their careers with their family obligations. I brought up my child on my own without paying for childcare, whilst also growing my business.
It stands to reason that women are twice as likely as men to mention family responsibilities as a barrier to starting a business, this is because 9 times out of 10 woman being the mother, primary carer of her family will see that her family comes first and business comes second. In addition, for female entrepreneurs with children, primary care responsibilities are result in another barrier to further business success, with 46% of female parent entrepreneurs identifying it as a “very important” barrier versus 33% of male parents with businesses. (Rose Review of Female Entrepreneurship, HM Treasury 2019), The reason for this is because men running businesses who have a life partner whmo they will rely on to be the caregiver, that person will look after their children otherwise if they are a lone parent they may hire childcare to overcome the barrier. Men will never try to juggle both business and family life without getting childcare.
Maternity can also play a crucual role in failure and sucess of a business and running a business whilst pregnant can be very stressful. Tell me about it it, I’ve done that and got the t-shirt. It can be a particular challenge for women entrepreneurs and small business owners, as the legal framework and protections available for employees do not apply (although the self employed may be able to claim Maternity Allowance). (Women’s Business Council, Enterprise Evidence Paper, BIS 2012). However running a busines whilst nurturing a newborn can be extremely challenging. Pregnant female entrepreneurs are less likely to plan to take any time off as formal maternity leave (Rouse 2009). This is true as I never took any time of work either and brought my baby to the office on numerous occasions.
Facts about women in business
Even though the UK may be the start-up capital of Europe, the number of women starting up or expanding their businesses remains very low. As mentioned above certain factors stop women following their dreams. Women account for 17% of business owners in the UK.
If women started to build their own business it is said that up to £250 billion of new value could be added to the UK economy.
According to (Chief Executive of the Small Business Service, Martin Wyn Griffith, Speaking at the National Dialogue for Entrepreneurship, Washington DC, March 2005), a GBP pound sterling invested in developing women’s enterprise provides a greater return on investment than a pound invested in developing male owned enterprise. (At least Martin is on our side).
When it comes to obstacles, it has been found that women were nearly five times more likely to mention family reasons for becoming self-employed than men. Women think that working from home whilst looking after their children is less stressful than working for an employer. Women can choose the hours they wish to work and can drop things at a moments notice if a child becomes sick. A fifth of females chose to work as self-employed to help combine ‘family commitments/wanted to work at home’ and employment in a flexible manner. Conversely, men were almost twice as likely to say that one of the reasons they became self-employed was to ‘make more money’ than were women. (ONS Regional Trends, Women in Business 2009).
The statistics show an average of about 30% of self-employed women and 8 per cent of men work at home. (ibid ONS 2009). More than half of self-employed women (53%) work part-time compared to 17% of self-employed men. (ONS Labour Market Statistics, September 2014)
I used to use an accountant until I suspected he was not doing his job so I fired him. So now I do my own books and plan to hire an accountant once my business exapnds.
However a majority of female owned businesses are more likely to use an accountant than majority male-owned businesses and less likely to use no external advice than majority male-owned businesses (Dr Stuart Fraser, Finance for Small and Medium-Sized Enterprises, 2005).
I am forever learning and there are many self employed webinars on the HMRC website to get usueful information on accounting from. It is said that 38% of women in the UK compared to 3% in Europe will take advice from services, banks and government websites business support. Women are more likely to do business training and research rather than men.
I did a business course in my 20’s in College and some of the skills have proven to be invaluable in my life now even though at the time I never thought I would be an entreprenur. Entrepreneurship training is three times more likely to improve self confidence about having the right skills to run a business. (GEM Special Report: A Global Perspective on Entrepreneurship Education and Training, 2010).
Schools do not teach younsters to be entrepreneur. But with social media influencing young people are being taught they too can be successful entrepreneurs and they are starting to take advantage and making their very first steps in becoming business owners.
From makeup tutorials on Youtube to vlogging, ghost hunting and gaming youngster are getting the taste of being their own bosses.
These youngsters are called ‘Millenials’ Amongst the younger age groups, 18 to 24 and 25 to 34, female entrepreneurship is still half of male entrepreneurship, but the picture amongst students is more promising with more people learning that being a social influencer in fact has made many youngsters millionaires it only goes to show that other youngster will follow suit. Amongst the 18-24 age group are most likely to think that entrepreneurship is a good career move and that it has a high status in society (84% compared to the 75% in the next age group) ( ibid Enterprise Insight 2005).
Entrepreneurial activity amongst people with no formal education is very high in the 18-24 year old age group (14.2%). In particular the 18-24 year old age group, entrepreneurial activity is twice as high in this category as it is for any other qualification level. (ibid GEM, London Business School 2004).
Students that go onto further education are equally likely to participate in school enterprise education, howvever 50% of males are more likely than females to be interested in starting their own business as a result of their education.
Final thoughts. So although we have great women of power not all are Founders and you have heard the expression “behind every great man there is a great woman”, these woman are notebable for other roles other than owners of companies. These roles as CFO or Executives are all very important in their own right and without CFO’s and CEO’s companies cannot scale. These women are on the Boards of Directors and they get a percentage of equity of the business.
These women on this list are successful in their own right for the roles they play and without them the companies would not be where they are today.
We can only aspire to be like them and make a difference in the world by empowering ourselves and others.
Apparently this is not the first time that Tesco’s Website has gone down as two days ago ‘The Sun’ Newspaper reported the frustration of users spending time ammending orders to either have a broken eggs message or a 500 error message.
So today I tried ammending my order and all of a sudden the screen changed to a 500 error message saying “sorry for any inconvenience caused”. This prompted me to contact customer services to be told there is nothing wrong with the website and that I should try private browsing to overcome the issue. I should have kept this women talking whilst I did this as no sooner I put the phone down I had the same error message.
I then phoned Tesco again only to be told that they are aware of the problem and for me to try again later.
It is so easy to loose ones temper but these customer service call handlers are not IT experts and its not their fault.
If Tesco is getting regular outage they should look to investing more back up servers.
So another hour wasted as I will have to keep on trying an re-ammend my order again.
Tesco should compenste their customers by either not charging a delivery fee or give some vouchers for the inconvenience caused as a gesture of good will.
With many of us with too much time on our hands waiting for our starting orders, there is no time like the present to revamp your garden if you have one or even offer a helping hand for your neighbours and local community especially the elderly.
Ones garden gives people a lasting impression of your home, if you have a messy garden on the outside, what is the inside looking like.
If you need ideas how to landscape your garden here is an excellent article to read:
If you want to be creative and leave it to the professionals and even have a water feature then https://www.pondsolutionscardiff.co.uk will install a pond for you to enjoy for years to come. They are located in Cardiff South Wales UK and can travel about a 50 mile radius.
I feel the last week has been really stressful and I learnt a costly lesson, through what has happened today. Normally I have no issues with clients they ususally ask me to build them a site, give me the content and hey presto I go about doing the marketing and SEO.
However and I will not be naming anyone but why do people expect something for nothing?
Why do they expect you to slogg your guts out and be beholden to their every whim?
I am saying enough is enough if you hire me to do a job do not question why I do things a certain way, at the end of the day I am doing it for you not me.
I was recently questioned why I do not use the word “Home” as a Homepage title and when I gave the reasons why rather than take my advice, I was told that other companies in his profession were using the word “Home” and that my title looks silly. So you hire me to do a job and then question my ability even though I know what I am doing.
So my costly mistake was and this is the first time I have ever included it in a contract was a cooling off period when this person asked me to build him a website, then started to add more pages over what we had initially agreed on and stated that most businesses have more than 10 pages. That may be true but they pay to have the extra pages they do not give unlimited pages for £49.99 per month. He announced today he would be looking for another designer, more like he will attempt to do it himself as I have not come across designers charging pittance for what he expected me to do.
So I suspect he may try to build a website himself after all every one has more time on their hands so why not give it a go, that is what I think. The SEO audit report will show me if his site has been built by a professional or not, can’t wait.
So the good soul I am, I have not been charging for web hosting, seo or marketing because of this pandemic as I reckon a lot of people are strapped for cash right now. However do not take advantage of me. If I do not charge you for a website until lockdown is lifted do not start throwing your teddy’s out to the pram if you do not give me the content to the sites and then somehow expect me to do it for you. I should not have to find the content for you as that takes time with research and content writing. i build websites, I should not be building your business also.
It rattles me beyond belief how people are so full of themselves and expect something for nothing. What about me I have to live too.
I am the kind of person I will go above and beyond my call of duty to help someone but if they start taking advantage as I have seen a few of my clients doing lately, I will say enough is enough.
Again I have a client who cannot work due to the Gorvernment guidelines and has to overcome the close proximaty of his clients so not only did I not charge him for the hosting of he site and blog, I also gave him free advertising on a local business directory only to have him go on his high horse, why his dot com domain name was not associated with his site.
Talking SEO goes right over his head and when I was still contemplating if I should use his dot com rather that a dot co dot uk domain name for his blog he goes on a rant and now has gone quiet on me when I told him he is only allocated two hours a month and that he is in a queue. The reason why I am hesitant to use a dot com is because even though you can set your GEO fencing for the domain names, search engines still send you traffic from the location your domain comes from which in the case of a dot com is the USA. So if you happen then to do paid per click advertising your budget will get swallowed up by US traffic not good especailly if you are in the UK.
So I thought I had ample time to update him but obviously not as he was throwing his teddy about and expecting me to drop everything. So what did I do I dropped everything for him and now he has gone quiet, how rude……..
As for the other client I built 40 page website for and he used the get out clause in order for me not to charge him, I also designed a logo and has he offered to pay for it of course he hasn’t even though I told him at the begining how much it would cost and he made me do numerous changes and nothing not even a tiddly wink for my troubles. I hope the client that decided to cool off ahead of payment feels really bad about what he has done. My question to this person is “why bother praising me, bigging me up, saying that I am really clever and know what I am doing and even have an email saying he loves the site only to pull out at the last minute?” I think it is to do with money. Yet what he charges an hour would have cover the costs for the next year renewal of the website.
I really cannot undertand people sometimes, I really cant and I have now lost respect for this person.
I am going to stop being nice and doing people favours as they take advantage of you and that is from being many years in business, people want to negotiate your prices even though you try to be as low in price as possible yet they always want more and still want you to lower your price especailly for them. I have had enough I am not doing it anymore, you either pay me the asking price or you find someone that will do it cheaper but I do not have time to haggle with you over my pricing. You would not go to a solicitor who charges £300 an hour to lower their price for you so why should I lower my prices considering I am building the engine that will bring in the clients.
Is it even worth me invoicing him the £75 for the logo and for him not to pay and then me taking it to a small claims court, I do not think so, it is not worth the time or stress or trouble and all I can say is “what goes around comes around”.
To think that I know how much my clients charge by the hour, my fee is a fraction of one job that they would bring in a month yet they still seem to want more. Sheer greed and being condenscending will eventually catch up with you, so you treat people with kindness and respect.
If you think you know more than me then by all means put me in my place but if you are just a cheapskate and want to cut corners then I am not the person you should be talking to.
Remember treat people like you would want to be treated. If you want to be a miser, people will also do less for you if you want something you want for nothing.
If you look at the national average for a website do not expect to pay basic web design prices and expect more for your money.
I need to get this off my chest as I really want to scream. As you all know I am a web designer and internet marketer to name a few services that I offer and most recently I lost one client because I was discriminated by his partners opinion about me.
Anyway moving on, the day comes when termination of hosting is imminent and after explaining in so much detail that a five year old could understand and after the domain name had changed hands it was inevitable that the website and emails would go down.
So approximately two and a half hours before midnight and final cut off period, the hosting goes down.
Now wait for this, after I had explained that the hosting would go down at which point it did, I get an email saying this person’s emails had gone.
So even after I had said that as soon as the domain crossed over the hosting would go down this was somehow my fault that this person had no access to his emails.
Furthermore they tried to insinuate I had cancelled the agreement and that I was keeping the domain, of which I proved that the domain had changed hands showing whois data.
This must have stung like a slap across the face and did I get an apology for the insinuation I had cancelled the agreemnet, of course I did not.
Afterall these people think they are somehow better than me. All I will say is you reap what you sow. If you are not nice to people, people will not be nice to you.
Obviously like a good person that I am, I stayed up until the early hours trying to retrieve his emails from back up and restore. I looked like an idiot going back to the hosting providers and saying hold on but my client has not backed up his emails and has not set up up new email accounts with his new web designers.
I won’t say what profession he is in but if you knew you would be shocked.
Anyway just make a statement about the new web designer who have made a shambles of my ex-clients new website and to blow my own trumpet I have perfomed a SEO Audit Report on his site and it looks like an amatuer has thrown a wordpress site together.
There is a saying ” Do not fix something that is not broken”.
All I can say is “OMG” how stupid can you get and to think his idiot partner made derogatory comments about my site , I am laughing my cotton socks off.
Obviously for legal reasons I will not mention the person’s name , his profession or his domain name, but do not pretend to be something you are not. It has taken me years to learn about serach engine optimization and web design so for his partner to claim he is some sort of expert is a joke.
My daughter has said it is his loss and when she saw his new site the reaction was “Oh God”.
To think I have wasted a whole day today as I have been going back and forth my hosting providers and being extremly tired I could not focus on what I was planning on doing today, I lost a whole days work.
Anyway moving on I have been working on a local directory and the amount of busineeses that I have come across that do not have a website or if they claim they do in order to not pay website designers they cheat and have stated their websites are in actual fact Facebook pages is beyond comprehendable. Do not be a cheapskate and do half a job. Your brand and reputations says all about presentation. If you have a mediocre WordPress site or Facebook page instead of a website it does not say much about you.
If you cannot be honest to people you cannot be honest to yourself. Meaning if you are lying to the world you have a website but the world lands on your Facebook Page, what is the first thing people will see? I will tell you, it says you do not have money to spend on a website therefore you are not very successful.
The same goes if your website has Powered by WordPress. Any Professional Designer would remove all reference to WordPress. Again I am blowing my own trumpet as I can see how stupid some people are and cannot admit that they either want to cut costs or have financial difficulties but instead come up with a half hearted excuse why they want to change web site deisgners after being with them for half a decade.
I Know that it is down to the other partner and not so much my ex-client but you would have thought in his line of profession he would show some intellect and considering I am an Author and have published two books on Domain Names, Website Design and SEO, you would not try to insult my intelligence.
Moving on I came across a post on Facebook how the local shop owners of Wellfield Road, which is in the vicinity where I live, were irrate about hooligans vandalising the trees strategically planted to stop cars parking on the street. They even went on to say they collectively raised £740 plus to replace the trees that were vandalised.
The whole point of the trees is to maintain social distancing.
Yet the picture paints a thousand words. The whole point of the trees is to stop parking and to maintain social distancing but what do the shop owners do?……….only pose for a group photo without maintaining social disatancing…….The council should fine them all !! Somehow they seem to think they are exempt from the social distancing rule and one wonders why the world is the way it is.
Racism is not just about colour, it much, much, more than that.
Racism, also called racialism which means people are divided into groups.
Racism is prejudice and discrimination.
Peoples actions, practices, or belief reflect the racial worldview—the ideology.
Humans are divided by their physical traits and traits of personality, intellect, morality, and other cultural and behavioural features.
People are taught that some people are superior to others and are taught the difference from one class to another.
Racism is about classes.
Classes can be defined by:
1) Colour (Black, White, Yellow or Green (Martians))
2) Race (What country you were born eg, Mexican, Eastern European, Africa etc)
3) Religion (Catholic, Muslim, Christian, Atheist, Christian etc)
4) Gender (Heterosexual, Bisexual, Gay, Trans etc)
5) Social (Upper class, upper middle class, lower middle class, working class, poor)
6) Physical Appearance
7) Mental Ability (Intellect)
8) Disability (physical and mental)
Now in my own experience, I have been the target of at least six classes of racism and discrimination.
1) From the age of 5 I was cornered outside the school gates and my blazer was spat on from the inside all because I had a foreign name and could not speak English, yet I understood what the children were saying. I also had my name made fun of. From the age of five I was bullied at school.
On another occasion I was pushed down some concrete stairs onto a gravel laden playground in my school in the UK (this was over 50 years ago).
2) In senior school I was targeted for my race, was called names and had physical altercations with bullies in the school of which some are connected with some of my FB friends. I should really name and shame them, but they are not worth the limelight in my opinion and feel total distain towards them.
3) In my adult life my ex boyfriends’ parents would judge me by race and my social class (the parents of the better class to my parents decided I was not a good fit for their son)
4) One of my ex-s judged me by my race and social class with one referring me as a peasant girl or milk maid, as most of Poland is agricultural and a lot of people are farmers, yet I never lived in Poland. This person was an intellect, yet he still found a way to ridicule me.
5) In my adult life my work environment I was once told to change my name by a German businessman that had changed his name to a British name because people judge you by your name. I have since used a British name on my LinkedIn profile simply for that reason and have had my hand forced because people are judgemental.
This is also true as not so long ago I talked about immigration and Brexit on someone’s post and was told to go back to where I came from (the people on that post judged me by name, even though they did not know me or where I was born), even though I was born in the UK and my father fought with the British in WWII. It was not just one person it was a few people that were defensive. All I said was that Eastern European people meaning Poles in general have made a name for themselves as being hard grafting because they are known to work hard as farmers and that is why people assume, they work hard in general. I also said from my experience and I am an employer that foreign workers work harder as they do not have a social benefit system to fall back on. This caused backlash and I immediately blocked each and every troll that jumped on me.
Another time I was judged for my race and social class and was questioned about my location where I live and was asked do I really live in November House or did I make that up and for me to write my real address and eyebrows were raised when the individuals realised, I live in a quarter million-pound house, which was actually called November House.. I even lost a contract most recently as I believe the person judged me by my race and social class. On another occasion I also had derogatory comments made by the mother of a hairdresser thinking that what she said would not get back to me but it did and now this hairdresser will pay the price as they will never be listed in my directory as a top hairdresser in Roath which I have built (www.roathlife.com).
Also due to a time in my life when a racist person also a narcissist tried controlling me, made me an introvert and submissive and this reflected in my appearance and my personality, but people were quick to judge even though they did not know the full story.
I have since learnt no one’s opinion’s matters other than your own.
I also suffer with OCD but I put it down to the fact that most of my life people have been judgemental towards me and have made me the way I am and this is my defence mechanism kicking in to block out people who are negative towards me.
Because people do not understand they tend to judge or ridicule.
Did you know all the following people have or had OCD.
Famous People With OCD
Leonardo DiCaprio suffers from OCD and says that he allowed his condition to worsen in order to play Howard Hughes in “Aviator.”
His childhood memoriess were to step on cracks in the pavement and if he missed any he would have start all over again, even as far as a few blocks.
“Sin City” star Jessica Alba talked about her OCD in an interview with CosmoGirl stating,
“It was like a panic come over me and I had to do something, and once I did it, I was OK. …
It was really me needing to control something.”
Justin Timberlake suffers from OCD that makes him need everything to be organized perfectly.
He also only allows certain foods in his refrigerator.
Pop star Katy Perry suffers from OCD and says that she brushes her teeth 4-6 times a day.
Howie Mandel has been very open about his OCD. He calls handrails his enemy.
Cameron Diaz’s OCD makes her have a fear of germs.
Soccer great David Beckham has admitted to struggling with OCD saying that he has to reorganize hotel rooms in order to feel comfortable.
“Young Adult” star Charlize Theron says that her OCD keeps her up at nights worrying about messy cabinets and closets.
Historians believe that Albert Einstein suffered from OCD, as do many individuals with very high levels of intelligence.
“Vanilla Sky” actress Penelope Cruz is said to suffer from OCD.
Charlie Sheen has OCD and needs things to be in order. He told Dr. Oz that his OCD even propelled him to fix a stranger’s shirt collar at a restaurant.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
“Client List” star Jennifer Love Hewitt thinks the she inherited her OCD from her mother.
Alec Baldwin self-diagnosed his OCD. Baldwin spoke of the frustrating nature of his condition stating,
“The thing is, you always feel the need to do it, mostly when there’s something at stake. Like,
I will literally be leaving my apartment in New York and I’ve got to go to the airport.
The worst possible time is when the bell rings loudest. A voice will say to me, ‘Move the snow globe to the right three inches.”
Michael Jackson had Body Dysmorphic Disorder which is similar to OCD.
“Planet Terror” star Rose McGowan suffers from OCD related to agoraphobia.
“Star Wars” star Harrison Ford says that his OCD is related to his fear of spiders and reptiles.
Donald Trump says that his OCD prevents him from shaking hands with people.
(Which is Fake News in my opinion as I have seen him shake hands).
Director Martin Scorsese suffers from OCD and he explored the depths of the condition in his film “The Aviator.”
Roseanne Barr has struggled with OCD and she talked about her experience with Larry King.
Howard Stern’s OCD developed as a defense mechanism when he was first starting out.
Stern stated, “When I was in college and nervous about entering the world of broadcasting and earning a living, the pressure was enormous. …
As a defence mechanism, my brain had set up an elaborate maze of rituals that kept me from confronting my fear.”
Film maker Woody Allen has OCD and the main subject that he obsesses about is death.
Historians believe that Nikola Tesla suffered from OCD in his later years.
Fiona Apple suffers from OCD and she calls it a problem that can destroy your life.
“Blues Brothers” star Dan Aykroyd suffers from Tourette’s, Asperger’s and OCD.
Researchers believe that Charles Darwin most likely suffered from OCD.
“A Clockwork Orange” director Stanley Kubrick is thought to have had OCD because of the way that he would shoot an excessive amount of takes when filming his movies.
Kathie Lee Gifford
Talk show host Kathie Lee Gifford is thought to have OCD.
Billy Bob Thornton
“Sling Blade” star Billy Bob Thornton calls suffering from OCD exhausting.
TV show host Marc Summers suffers with OCD. Who knows how Summers managed to deal with all of the slimy messes on his Nickelodeon show “Double Dare.”
People speculate that composer Cole Porter most likely suffered from OCD.
Historians believe that Michelangelo suffered from OCD.
Ludwig van Beethoven
Researchers believe that Ludwig van Beethoven displayed many symptoms of OCD.
Entrepreneur and film maker Howard Hughes suffered for OCD and used to obsess over the size of peas.
Later in his life, Hughes became a recluse and continuously watched movies.
Historians believe that Samuel Johnson likely suffered from OCD.
Researchers find that Stonewall Jackson demonstrated many of the symptoms of OCD.
Talk show host Jeremy Kyle suffers from OCD.
“Werewolves of London” songwriter Warren Zevon suffered from OCD.
He developed a friendship with fellow OCD sufferer Billy Bob Thorton later in his life.
Historians believe that “A Christmas Carol” author Charles Dickens likely suffered from OCD.
Historians believe that Marcel Proust suffered from OCD.
Limp Biscuit front man Fred Durst says that suffering from OCD makes touring really tough.
Gerald Kaufman has self-diagnosed his OCD.
Joey Ramone had a severe case of OCD and low self-esteem.
John Melendez, better known as “Stuttering John,” suffers from OCD, just like his good friend and boss Howard Stern.
Pop singer Natalie Appleton suffers from a mild case of OCD.
British actress/musician Jane Horrocks has been diagnosed with OCD.
Soccer star Steven Gerrard’s OCD manifests itself as constant hand washing.
British actress Emily Lloyd has gotten treatment for OCD and she blames the disorder for stalling her career.
Soccer star Paul Gascoigne suffers from OCD as well as other mental illnesses.
Soccer player Tim Howard had a tough time in school coping with his OCD.
Actor Ian Puleston-Davies has OCD and a fear of germs.
Baseball player Jim Eisenreich was diagnosed with Tourette’s and OCD.
Volkert van der Graaf
Murderer Volkert van der Graaf has been diagnosed with OCD and Asperger’s.
So my OCD does not make me a freak or a lunatic, you would not say that about all the above names so you should not say that about me.
I have maintained social distancing way before the covid-19 coronavirus pandemic and have created a bubble that the government now wants us all to adhere to.
It’s ironic that the whole world is forced to become OCD (Contamination) aware, yet I have been doing it for years.
I have even been judged for having a disability.
So, the point is people will never change Racism. Racism will always exist because people will always be judgemental and discriminating, because people are taught to be superior.
It all starts in the classroom. Schools should teach that Racism is not ok, but they do not why is that?
One reason could be if we were all taught that we are all equal we would not have high expectations we all be sheep without leaders, hence in order to have leaders you need to have people who are superior to you.
Social Classes do not mix you will never have Upper Class people hanging out with the poor population, unless its for publicity.
Leaders are then not equal to you, as they may have a higher social class and may be more intellectual.
There will always be leaders and there will always be followers.
Because we are all segregated into groups, it.s who ever is on top of the food chain will always control Racism.
Some examples of such incidents are as follows:
Trump said he was building a Mexican wall and branded Mexicans as drug dealers, illegal immigrants and thieves. I have a lot of Mexican family all highly educated, from Doctors, Dentist, Midwives and Priests, but all it takes is for one person from the highest social class to segregate people into classes all because of one opinion.
It is a well-known fact that Eastern European people judge and discriminate people by race, religion, social class, disability and appearance. I know Polish people that judge by colour, race, social class, religion and gender, disability and appearance, try telling a Polish person you are gay or are an atheist or have a mental disability and see their reactions.
I am not saying all people are racist but we can seperate people into groups.
I have seen and heard with my own eyes and ears judgmental things that my very own family and friends have said, and it is disgraceful, which I am so ashamed to admit to and am ashamed to call them family or friends. In my defence I have always stood up to my friends and family and tried to explain that their beliefs are totally wrong, which has got me into trouble and many arguments.
Did you know that in Russia you will get arrested if you are seen to be holding hands or kissing the same gender as yourself or you openly admit you are gay?
People judge others by:
The designer clothes and materialist things they wear and own.
Their appearance and how smart they dress
The way they speak (does every other word becomes a swear word or does one speak Queens English)
The job they have, the janator to the director
The car they drive, the Skoda to the Ferrarri
The location they live. Each place has a down town district.
The people they hang out with.
People are equal, no matter what walk of life we seem to be in and what title we may have, we all have red blood, we all do the same routines to survive, we eat, sleep and dream of making money and have a place to live.
The colour of a person should not define us just because someone somewhere once said that we are different, we are not different we all the same and we all do the same things to survive.
Disabilities should not matter either ‘Stephen Hawkings’ suffered from ‘ALS’ he was wheelchair bound yet he was a British theoretical physicist, cosmologist and author and will always be admired all over the world. Yet people are discriminating, they may not say it out loud but sometimes their actions speak louder than words.
Like I said before not everyone is racist or discriminating and some do fight to change the system, but the system will never change.
Just because someone somewhere is unintelligent and only crap comes out of their mouths, we should be the better person and decided their opinions do not matter.
If we are going to take down tv shows or monuments, why not start suing everyone that has made judgemental comments towards us. I could start suing all my bullies from school and the schools themselves for not preventing all the trauma I endured which caused me to have a mental disability. I have not forgotten so in retrospect I suffer with PTSD. I should also sue all my ex’s that called me names, ridiculed me and disrespected me.
In my opinion if there is a show that is deemed to be offensive to some people, just get a grip, do not bloody well watch it is all I have to say.
Some of us are intelligent enough to recognise tongue in cheek humour.
People have too much time on their hands and rather than sitting down and learning something new like reading a book and to make the world a better place, they choose to judge and criticise and be negative, as that is all they are mentally able to do.
People who are more intellectual will go above and beyond the problem and will try to fix the problem without causing more problems.
At the end of the day I choose not to have negative people in my life. I believe only my opinion matters and no one else’s and if people do not have time for me, I do not have time for them. Yes, I have many online connections but physical I only have a few as mingling with people who are false is a waste of my time.
Anti-Racism is respect to the person that may not have the same advantages as you, but you see them as an equal, anti-racism is the power to not discriminate.
Racism is about judging and discrimination and anyone that judges and discriminates is a Racist.