Working in conjunction with (Disabled Entrepreneur UK) we cover topics of mental health amongst Entrepreneurs, CEOs, Directors, and Rich People. Our main focus is on the subjects of depression, anxiety, and suicide-related issues. If you are suffering, do not suffer alone. Reach out to medical professionals with the first pit stop of your local GP. Do the research and if you feel you have no one to turn to contact the Samaritans or message us and we will suggest some places that can help you get through what you are going through.
GP Appointments &Negligence, Lack of duty of care.
Patients are being told that doctors are too busy to cope with more 20-minute appointments that they have restricted calls for 10 minutes and to only discuss one ailment per consultation.
Critics say it could put people off discussing important health issues.
People who are vulnerable who have ongoing mental health issues or have multiple issues may be reluctant to phone multiple times.
According to some surgeries dealing with more than one health issue can increase the chances of a mistake. (A GP should not make mistakes, although I have proof that they do, with my daughter being prescribed Gaviscon by the GP yet the A&E diagnosed my daughter with Multiple Sclerosis).
My calculation is if the surgery did an eight-hour shift and had 20-minute consultations, would be 24 patients a day multiplied by 5 doctors would be 120 patients a day multiplied by 5 days would be 600 people a week or 2,400 patients per month that they could consult.
Not everyone comes to the surgery every week or every month, so what are doctors doing if they are having problems with time management?
GPs are insisting that patients raise only one problem per appointment because they are so short of time.
According to the Mail Online (January 2017), those with multiple ailments are being banned from booking longer 20-minute consultations – instead of being told to book a standard ten-minute appointment for each condition they want to discuss.
A ten-minute slot would equate to 6 slots per hour multiplied by 8 hours, which equates to 48 patients per day per Doctor. (48 patients per day per 10 min slots x 5 GP’s = 240 patients per day x 5 days = 1,200 patients per week x 4 weeks = 4.800 patients per month).
Surgeries are increasingly introducing a controversial policy to cope with rising demand. But campaigners described the rules as ‘outrageous’ and warned they would put off patients from discussing potentially important health worries.
Practices across the UK have adopted the ‘one problem per appointment’ policy which claims it is to improve ‘clinical safety. However, there is a real increased risk that mistakes will be made and things missed as the Doctor may be inclined to rush, particularly if other patients are waiting.’ Other Surgeries have gone one step further by banning any long appointments for multiple health issues.
GP surgeries are under pressure from the rising and aging population on top of a recruitment crisis of family doctors. NHS figures published in December 2016 showed that in some parts of the country the number of patients on surgery lists has soared by 30 percent in just three years.
Katherine Murphy, chief executive of the Patients Association, said: ‘It is outrageous that patients are being told there are rules around the health problems that can be discussed.
We hear so frequently from patients who struggle to even get an appointment that I’m confident most would take such an opportunity to ask about a secondary or less-urgent health concern.
‘Our concerns are that patients will not be given the opportunity, or maybe put off, from asking for medical advice because of this rule, which is a very serious patient safety risk.’
Dr. Helen Stokes-Lampard, chairman of the Royal College of GPs, said she was ‘saddened by the move. She added: ‘For a lot of consultations, particularly for people with chronic diseases or any psychological element to it, to be pressured into ten minutes is really unhelpful.’
Note from the Editor.
In Consideration of the above article, the Editor (myself) who has multiple health issues wrote a nine-page letter to the GP back in May of this year. I sent it via email with an attachment marked as private and confidential. I received an email back from the practice managerwho said that she had read the letter (Not addressed to her) and that I needed to discuss my concerns by making a phone call to the GP even though it clearly stated in the letter what my concerns were.
(The GP could have phoned the patient (aka me) to discuss the concerns ratherthan ignore me altogether).
So, six months later seeing I never received a letter from the GP or a phone call, I happened to be chasing up a missing prescription for my daughter and I decided to kill two birds with one stone and asked for the GP to phone me only to be told I would have to phone back the following day to book a consultation. I replied just mark it on the system that I need the doctor to phone me.
By all accounts, the person I was speaking to could not pass on a message as I will explain.
I related that the letter I wrote in May clearly stated my concerns and that it could be marked on the system for the GP to phone me and that I should not be chasing the GP. The receptionist (male) said he would pass the message on so I thought…
Within minutes of the call ending the practice manager phoned demanding that I phone back the following day to book a consultation, she never said what time, but I presume at 8 am when the lines get jammed from people trying to make appointments for a good half hour to an hour, only to be told the slots are gone and to phone back the day after. This has happened previously to me so maybe the system has changed; I do not know, as I hardly ever phone the GP, I prefer everything in writing?
I said that the doctor should phone me and for the practice manager to pass the message on, who replied the doctor is too busy to read letters or correspond to them and that unless I phoned back in the morning to book a consultation the doctor will not be phoning me.
My reply was, I had to drop what I was doing today to speak with the practice manager that did not schedule a call and did not even ask if it was OK to talk. I continued to say I am also busyand that this call was inconvenient to which the practice manager raised her voice and in a stern tone said “Goodbye” and cut me off by ending the call.
If the GP does not phone me tomorrow, I will go out of my way to name and shame the practice and sue them for negligence for my escalation of health issues and emotional distress.
If I work into the early hours of the morning, I am not going to get up especially early to phone the surgery to ask for the GP to phone me when I have spoken with three people in total that could easily put a post-it note, on the GP’s desk to phone me. It is not difficult.
The overall way they treat their patients does not surprise me why people get agitated. If I were an elderly person, I would not be ringing back, this could then cause the persons’ health to deteriorate even more.
I speak on behalf of everyone who has problems speaking to their GP for multiple health issues. If a letter has been received and as per the phone call today which confirmed my ailments have been put on the system, you would think the care of duty by the clinician should have followed it up, but they have not, which in my way of thinking is negligence.
I suffer from depression and anxiety I am an advocate for mental health and have a website specifically for disabilities www.disabledentrepreneur.uk
I am not ashamed to admit it, I do struggle with anxiety and depression most days and some days are easier than others.
I lost my ex-husband and a family friend this year and around May time, which felt I needed some support from my GP hence wrote the letter not only discussing my mental health but other multiple ailments. Had I have had suicidal thoughts you would not be reading this right now because of my GP’s incompetence.
Imagine someone with a similar health issue relying on the GP to get in touch with them, I dread to think how many people have had their symptoms get worse because of the lack of duty of care by the clinician.
I have now spoken to three people in total over my letter including a cluster pharmacist who phoned me to discuss my medication who also told me she had read my letter and I quote “The letter was very thorough which is what GP’s like”, yet no one has followed up on my health issues?
I did write a while ago about doctor / patient confidentiality:
It is with no surprise that mental health is affected by financial worries, with an astonishing 9.5 million Brits suffering from mental health issues due to money worries. More than 18 million UK adults worry about money on a daily basis with a third saying their sleep is affected.
Therefore utility companies should not be intimidating and be wolves at the door if your bill payment is a few days late. They need to show compassion and be more understanding rather than harass people. Landlords should also take into consideration a person, personal circumstances before demanding money at short notice, 30 days notice is not adequate time if you have not put into place a surplus amount of money that you can use should the creditor increase their prices by an astronomical amount over the rate of inflation. Just because a property rental price is lower than the average price, says if a tenant did not agree with the prices they would have no option but to pay the average cost or move to an entirely new area. However, if the tenant needs to be in the area for business reasons and they have been a long-term tenant this says that the person has stayed in the area for a reason. Therefore if a landlord deliberately makes s a person get into debt which in turn causes mental health issues, the landlord should then be liable for the ill health of a person.
Some people can manage their money to a certain degree whilst others find it very difficult.
Feeling your financial circumstances are too much to bear, often people try to avoid the problem hoping somehow it will go away, but it never does, and the more you ignore it the worse the situation will become.
It is a well-known fact that people struggling with money have a link to poor mental health.
Below I will address the following categories:
What is the definition of poor mental wellbeing?
Can poor mental health affect the way you deal with money?
What if you feel everything has become too much and very overwhelming?
How to return to the drawing board and try and re-budget your finance?
Are there organizations I can try to get free debt help?
How to Deal with creditors?
What should you do if you have been unfairly treated?
How to manage your expenditure whilst you’re in the hospital?
What Benefits are there you can claim if you have poor mental health?
If someone you know is struggling with mental health and financial issues, how to help them?
If you cannot manage your money yourself who can help you?
Getting extra support for mental health?
What is the definition of poor mental wellbeing?
If you are finding that your mental health is being affected because of your financial circumstances and life is starting to be very overwhelming with sadness, stress, and anxiety, you may be experiencing poor mental well being which you need to contact a health professional like your local GP.
Poor mental wellbeing is when you experience the loss of a loved one (grief) feeling lonely or in despair, having relationship issues, or money worries or your physical health is not so good or you may even have problems at work. Most of the time we know what is causing us to feel low and we need to admit to ourselves that we do have a problem and learn how to deal with it. By simply ignoring the problem or being in denial will only make matters worse.
If you are feeling very low to the extent you may be having suicidal thoughts because of your money worries, you need to talk to a friend, family, neighbour or stranger otherwise call 999 if you are in immediate danger or give the Samaritans a call on 166 123.
Poor mental health can come at any time and last indefinitely unless treated. Your financial circumstance and worries about money can cause a chain reaction of problems not only to your health but to your day-to-day living.
Mental Health issues such as anxiety depression, sadness, stress, and PTSD can happen to the best of us, and remember you are not alone there are other people out there that most probably going through what you are going through.
Can poor mental health affect the way you deal with money?
Poor mental health being can be an onset of events that have caused you to feel, stress, sadness, sorrow, and despair. Your mental health can cause you to have anxieties, stress, depression, lack of motivation.
Some examples of the domino effects that can cause a chain reaction include:
Your income has been affected due to redundancies or could have stopped if you can’t work and are awaiting help from Univeral Credit, Housing Benefit, etc, or have to take time off work. It could also be because your child which is full-time education has turned 19 and you are no longer eligible to claim for your child tax credits even though their expenditure has not changed and you still have to feed them clothe them etc. (This is where the pencil pushers in parliament have not thought this through and have never been in this predicament). This is a loss of £400 per month and how is one supposed to live?
Your Landlord decides to give you one month’s notice to increase the rent without giving a thought about your financial circumstance. Even comparing the increase to similar rents in the area. So what happens if you do not agree, he/she will serve you notice to quit and where will you go then? He /she could potentially make you homeless and would he/she care of course they would not.
I have a saying “do I need it or do I want it”? If money is tight I weigh up would I be able to put off my wanting for another month. Could I live without whatever it is I want for a while until I could afford it? I have wised up to my financial spending about a decade too late. But now I have a better understanding of what is going in and what is going out. Someone with depression might spend their money on things they don’t need just to make themselves feel better and worry about consequences later, this will eventually become a vicious cycle with more unnecessary debt piling up.
People with depression may feel anxious or stressed about doing things like facing people, talking on the phone, going out, or opening their bills.
I am fortunate I do all my banking online and have done away with statements and bills coming through my door, everything is electronically done, I would like to think I am contributing to helping save the planet with zero carbon footprint emissions.
Money Navigator Tool
Are you looking for money guidance, but don’t know where to look? Start with Money Navigator, giving you instant help based on your circumstances.
Remember if you can write down all your going in money as well as your going out you will have a clearer picture of what costs cuts you can make.
Sometimes people that have enough money to live on may worry about money worries just in case they have to break into their savings. With rising costs and people in the human hierarchy importance ladder who simply do not give a damn about your mental health, you have to start fighting for survival and researching different options and how to get over your obstacle.
Your current situation may make you feel worried, anxious and nervous, or even depressed. You may have no motivation to face people let alone talk to them.
Your current situation may make you more stricter with your spending to the extent that you may not want to spend anything at all even though you may have money in the bank you do not want to dig into your life savings. This can cause anxiety and depression.
Your current situation may be the difference between putting food on the table because of people that do not care about your financial predicament and if you can actually afford a price increase. Small businesses should be more understanding and make massive increases to the tune of £80 as in the case of my landlord. (He will one day feel my wrath), he claims he has made repairs and has offset annual inspections that he is obliged to do onto the tenant. (I have so much ammunition on him he won’t know what has hot him).
Some people such as myself may find it hard to concentrate on making important decisions or concentrate or stay focused and may not take in all the detailed information and may not be able to manage their money properly.
Under Stress, people become forgetful and may not remember to do things.
There is an online tool provided by the NHS that can access you mental health especially if you are affected by financial difficulties NHS Money Worries tool. It does not take long to fill out in fact it only takes five minutes, which will then direct you to specific help based on your answers.
What if you feel everything has become too much and very overwhelming?
There is not one person on this planet that feels happy 24/7. Some may have very good days followed by very low days (Bipolar). Everyone feels low from time to time. Being able to identify the root of the problem is the first step to recovery. If one can pinpoint what is causing you to feel low and have your financial forecast in black and white in front of you (one needs to be ruthless with oneself) be as open and honest with your finances, which will pave a path tackling the problem.
If you cannot shake the persistent feeling of anxiety, worry, and depression off, you should seek medical advice from a health professional such as your pharmacist or GP. Sometimes making the first move and asking for help can be difficult and daunting that is why there are organizations that help you on the road to recovery. Mind has devised a tool called Find the Words, which will help you help you devise a plan of action and what you can say in the preparation of having a consultation with your GP, Nurse, or Pharmacist.
When it comes to financial difficulties the sooner you begin admit you have a problem, the sooner you can to tackle the problem and the easier it will be to take control. However it is understandable that some people may not be able to find the strength to deal with financial issues independantly and may find the whole ordeal overwhelming to the degree it may feel even impossible.
How to return to the drawing board and try and re-budget your finance?
Write Down in a Book so you can return to it later all your expenses and all your income. You will see at a glance how you can possibly save some money or juggle your money around. This is a perfect opportunity to manage and budget your money. Give yourself a Petty Cash so you can dip into that rather than your savings.
Do some research and find organizations that can help you with your finances
Reach out to your friends, family, and healthcare professional if the constant worry about money is so overwhelming that you cannot function properly.
Nominate someone you can trust to look after your mail for you, going as far as helping you budget and manage your expenses. Sometimes the thought of opening bills or statements is too much to bear.
Contact creditors, banks, and utility companies at the first opportunity and explain your circumstances they may put your debt on hold. If you ignore them this will only make matters worse and the problem will not go away by itself, in fact, it may escalate to debt recovery where your initial debt might double with recovery fees. It is best to just get the bull by the horns and confront your creditors before they do.
If you start to feel that life is unbearable and you cannot even face going to work, you must go to your GP to explain your ailments and ask to have a sick note. Contact your manager or HR department to let them know you are unwell. Some companies offer extra employee support, which is free and confidential.
If you go to your GP or another health professional and explain your problem, not only will your mental state of mind be logged on their system they may be also able to guide you by providing a Debt and Mental Health Evidence Form, which can help make assure creditors take your mental health problems into account. Only if you are in severe debt financial services may want to see written evidence of a mental health issue, but this is something that should only be discussed if you feel the situation has no way out and you are willing to share your personal data with these organizations. This is not mandatory and you will not be asked to provide medical evidence unless it goes to court.
If you a shopping addict or feel that buying something to cheer you up is the solution, when in fact it will only make your finances worse, consider doing something that occupies your mind that does not include browsing the internet with the temptation to spend. Go to your local library and borrow some books that you will be inspired by. If you are arty start painting. Do things that will not cost you an arm and a leg. Download some e-books before turning off the internet for a month or so. Give yourself time to re-rejuvenate.
How to return to the drawing board and try and re-budget your finance?
Poor mental health may make not allow you to be focused and may hinder the decision you make, thus avoiding making them at all can cause a domino effect with consequences to one’s actions. When you are starting to feel you are able to tackle your problems you need to be assertive, stay focused and correct the problems you may have. Also, try to safeguard yourself from future issues which may arise, by putting a little away each month if at all possible.
Are there organisations I can try to get free debt help?
I have been there when I had a nasty surprise when Norton renewed itself automatically approximately two months before the termination of the contract. I went about removing my card details from their system and every other company that I was not comfortable having my card details. This is the same for most online shopping sites and browsers often remember card details to make it easier and smoother to make purchases. If you feel at risk of making impulsive spending decisions you later regret, remove the auto-filled information from your browser settings.
Consider cutting up your cards or have just one for essential shopping, but do away with credit cards at your first opportunity. If you are in debt with credit cards the banks and credit card issuers will be happy for you to offer them something rather than nothing at all. This will also save them time chasing you and they will get their money although albeit it may take them a little longer. Offer something that is reasonable and show them your expenditure report.
If you have had poor mental health for some time it may be a combination of different things that have happened in your life. One of the reasons could be because you don’t have enough money to pay for the basics, such as food and rent or mortgage or you’re unable to pay your debts.
Although there are many places where you can get free financial help and information, only you know if you have enough money coming in or not to cover your bills.
A debt adviser can help to a certain degree and talk through your money worries and find ways for you to manage your debts, but they may not have all the answers. If you have been good at managing your money and all of a sudden someone throws an unexpected spanner in the works such as a rent increase of £150 for arguments sake, this will throw your budget straight out of the window.
Debt Advisers can suggest solutions you may not know about and can help even if you don’t think you have any spare money to deal with your debt.
A lot of people have felt stress when seeking debt advice; you’re not alone and it’s not a sign of weakness.
You can talk to debt advisers online, on the telephone or face-to-face – however, you feel most comfortable.
You should never be ashamed or embarrassed about talking about mental health to anyone. It is not a sign of weakness and in fact, speaking about is a sure way of finding the right help to dealing with it. Suffering in silence does not help you if you do not tell anyone how you are feeling. There are millions of people just like yourself in similar situations and if you can find the courage to speak out you have made the first steps to recovery.
If you do not tell anyone how you are feeling how are they supposed to know.
Creditors are human after all and even if they have never experienced stress, anxiety, and depression they may in fact know someone that has and they should be sympathetic towards you as long as you explain to them what you are going through.
Write it all down on a piece of paper or type it up, mentioning your mental state of mind, your disabilities and any medical help you may have. Do not leave any stone unturned.
Mention your incomings and outgoings so that they have a clear picture and may give you more time to pay off any arrears or debt you may have.
It is better to offer them something than nothing at all.
They will be happy to accept whatever you can offer them rather than taking you to court, which not only costs money it is a waste of resources that can be better spent elsewhere.
Creditors can be empathic and the definition of a creditor is someone you owe money to, such as a landlord, utility company, car finance company, your bank, building society, or lender (payday loans, store cards, etc).
People often feel talking about mental health that there is a stigma attached and the person you disclose this information to may think you are crazy. Having mental health issues such as anxiety and depression are normal experiences most people go through and experience at some point in their lives, from sitting your exams to having your first interview to feeling your job is not rewarding or you may be having relationship troubles. Everyone has experienced sadness, anxiety, and depression at some point in their lives.
When our parents and loved ones pass away we experience, sadness, grief, and depression.
Talking to their creditors about your poor mental wellbeing makes you a stronger person because you are brave enough to speak about it rather than shutting it out.
You can choose how much information you want to share and how it will be stored and used. You have control over your data.
Most importantly if you are feeling as if things have escalated out of control and you have nowhere to turn, do visit a health professional or GP asap and then contact your creditors in writing or appoint a friend or family member to do it on your behalf. You are not alone there are millions of people in the same boat as you.
What should you do if you have been unfairly treated?
Most organizations are empathetic providing you do give them the runaround. if you choose to ignore the past due letter and hope the problem will go away by itself you are very much mistaken and you will only infuriate your creditors. The sooner you make contact with them and the sooner you put all your incomings and outgoings on the table and a proposed payment plan the sooner they will give you extended time to pay. Remember they sooner prefer to have something than nothing at all and they certainly do not want to waste their precious time dragging it through courts. They will even cap any interest you may have as long as you make contact with them.
However if after you have disclosed your situation to the lender and they are being ruthless you can put in a letter of complaint and then go to an ombudsman who will act as a mediator. You also have the option of going to citizen advice and get free advice from volunteer solicitors or legal advice pro bono meaning they will not charge you until they win a case similar to (not win no fee).
The most important factor is you have to make contact physically or in writing and if you still feel you are not getting anywhere start pulling ranks so if the bank teller cannot help you ask for the bank manager and if the bank manager refuses to help go to an ombudsman.
In most cases as long as you offer your creditors something they will call off the wolves and will not pass your debt onto a debt collecting agency.
If you want to speak to a creditor in person it is wise to have someone with you as a witness and for moral support but the best way is to put it all in writing and do not leave anything out.
How to manage your expenditure whilst you’re in the hospital?
Sometimes the unexpected can happen so you should have a plan of action for a friend or family member to take over your day-to-day expenses. The best way is to set up a standing order or pay via creditors’ websites manually. Often setting up direct debits is a good idea but with this method, the dates transaction leave your account are fixed, whilst withstanding orders you have more control.
The best plan of action is to appoint someone as power of attorney and have it in writing that should you be unable to sort out your own finances and day-to-day routines like feeding the cat and watering the plants and putting any subscriptions on hold etc.
Obviously you need to be able to have someone you can trust.
However, if you are alone and have no family or friends, you could talk with your bank manager, you will be surprised what people they are in contact with and what resources and organizations they could put you in contact with.
On Rethink’s Mental Health and Money website, there is a full list of options and things you should think about, including how someone can help you pay bills, deal with benefits or talk to your bank or other service providers, such as your mobile phone, gas or electricity provider.
Always plan ahead should something happen like you being admitted into hospital suddenly. This will start a plan of action with the domino effect of the next person being notified to sort out your affairs.
If you are dependant on Government Benefits and Support you must notify the agencies because some benefits you will no longer be entitled to and this will avoid them overpayment, in which you guessed it, you would have to pay it all back. So it is best to let them know as soon as you can or get someone to do it on your behalf.
If you are admitted to hospital for a long stay you should know about the following:
If you are getting Disability Living Allowance, Personal Independence Allowance, or Attendance Allowance, your benefit will stop.
If someone gets Carer’s Allowance for you, their benefit will stop at the same time.
You are able to continue to get Housing Benefit for up to 52 weeks
If you are getting Employment and Support Allowance it will continue to be paid but depending on which type you are getting, you may lose some premiums or housing costs
Universal Credit will not usually be affected for six months
You will need to continue paying your bills. Think about setting up a direct debit so it’s done automatically
If you get benefits, tell the Department of Work and Pensions (DWP) – or the Social Security Agency (SSA) if you are in Northern Ireland.
Tell your local authority if you get Housing Benefits or pay Council Tax because you may qualify for a reduction.
If you don’t tell the agency dealing with your benefits, they may continue paying you and you may end up owing money.
What Benefits are there you can claim if you have poor mental health?
If your mental health condition persists or worsens or another disability is diagnosed, you may be entitled to help with certain benefits.
If you are over 16 and have a diagnosed mental health problem, you may be entitled to a Personal Independence Payment (PIP) if you need help with everyday tasks. This isn’t means-tested, so you may be able to get it whether or not you have an income or savings. However, they will first make you have a long interview and will assess you on the day. With the Coronavirus Pandemic Regulations and Restrictions, these assessments have been put on hold. Do not be disheartened if your claim has been denied, nearly all claims are rejected and it is up to you to appeal their decision.
If you can’t work for an extended length of time because of your illness and you’re not entitled to Statutory Sick Pay (or it has run out), you might be able to claim Employment and Support Allowance or Universal Credit to help replace lost income. If you’re claiming a sickness or disability benefit, you will usually need to have a medical assessment as part of the claim process.
The Mental Health and Money Advice website has a full list of benefits you may be entitled to if you are suffering from mental health issues, or if you are a carer of someone who is struggling.
The charity Turn2us has an online calculator you can use to see what benefits you may be able to claim.
If someone you know is struggling with mental health and financial issues, how to help them?
As a friend or family member, you know the person you are worried about better than most. So you can spot changes in behavior, sometimes before they do, that might send out warning signals.
You may want to make an agreement with them that they let you know if they seem to be becoming unwell. You could make an action plan together, for example, you could look after their credit card or bill payments when they feel unwell or help them make a GP appointment.
When you feel like there is a constant grey cloud following you everywhere you go and no matter what you do and nothing seems to be working in your favour, you must step back and analyze the situation and see how you can tackle the problem or make changes to make your life more bearable.
Sometimes stress, anxiety and depression can make it difficult to see straight, making it difficult to focus and make important decisions.
I have suffered from clinical depression for many years and I find writing down my thoughts and helping others as I am doing now part of my therapy. I have other disabilities which you can read on my other site www.disabledentrepreneur.uk My disabilities are not a burden per se, but a superpower as I can inspire other people that your disabilities do not have to define you and you can adapt around them within your means.
I have learned what to avoid that may trigger my depression and my other disabilities and what can worsen them. I have a controlled environment that is not normal by any standard but it works for me.
The first step to getting help is to talk with your health professional such as your local GP.
It’s easy for someone to say “things will get better” but if they are not walking in your shoes they do not have a clue what you are going through and have no right to give you that advice.
Only you can make the changes and make things happen and for people to say “things will get better” are basically sugar coating the problem.
If you are to your eyeballs in debt no amount of words is going to help you. You need a plan of action and you need people that can help you, rather than people trying to put a band-aid on a gaping wound.
The only way you can get out of debt is to talk to a professional that can help. You can even try to consolidate your debts into one monthly affordable sum. You need to speak with your creditors that you have run into financial difficulties and if you are also suffering from depression you MUST also see a Doctor. To be prepared to make the changes, you must make the first step.
It’s also soul-destroying watching people live in fancy houses driving fancy cars whilst you are struggling to make ends meet.
The constant noise of people bragging how successful they are is all smoke and mirrors and you should not be interacting or viewing this.
If you are connected on Instagram with people and groups living luxury lifestyles, turn off your account or simply do not log in.
For the MPs that dictate to people on low incomes how much support they are prepared to give people to live on, it would be interesting to see if they could live on £98.48 tax credits per week for six months supporting a young adult in full-time education who have no way of supporting themselves.
By my calculations, £98.48 per week based on 40 hours of work is £2.46 per hour, which is less than the living wage. Now if you add other income this could equate to a further £1.65 per hour, which brings a total of £4.11 per hour which is less than the national living wage, and they wonder why people have mental health issues.
So for a small business owner, they would have to further earn more than £164.48 per week to live and make a profit. Which equates to £657.92 per month that a small business owner would need to find just to get by on a low income.
If a small business owner has bills to pay and has a very low income that is struggling to pay its business overheads how does the government expect people to live on £98.48 per week? Even with the extra income, a small business owner makes it only comes to £164.48 per week. How on earth are people supposed to support themselves?
I have a question if a young adult turns 19 years of age, do they eat less the older they are or use less toiletries, electricity, water, etc? My point being if a young adult is still in further education not claiming universal credit and is not working and is disabled should the carer for that young person get penalized £100.00 per week and be given less to live on.
These politicians need their heads banging together and get basic salaries, equating to the National Living Wage of £8.91 per hour and not a penny more. They are not small businesses that often are highly educated CEOs that can command large salaries. Yet MPs are civil servants and you do not need to have a degree to become one all they need is to pay £500 with their application and if they are voted in by the constituents (followers), they then get to train alongside other MPs with starting salaries of £30K which equates to £625 per week or £15,63 per hour based on a 40 hour week.
Yet these MP’s command extortionate wages, bonus’s and expenses that come out of the taxpayers money, rather than helping people that genuinely need help.
I think it is bloody disgusting that politicians dictate how much a person should live on without calculating the cost of food and overheads expecting the average person on a low income to live on basic breadcrumbs that they begrudgingly give out.
They should try to live at least 6 months on those payouts and actually see how the other half live.
How about they swap their swanky homes for a person in a council house for at least 12 months, they would soon be singing a different tune.
Regardless of how much money I personally make and even if I could afford a house like the Real Housewives in Beverly Hills which I am watching on Netflix, I would never buy a house to flaunt my riches and make the less fortunate people feel envious of me. I would however live in a modest house that would not make me look like a privileged snob and I would use my money to help people less fortunate than me. I currently live in privately rented accommodation.
I challenge any politician to live on the income some of the small business owners live on just to be able to interview them 12 months later.
Similar to the film with Eddie Murphy and Dan Ackroyd ‘Trading Places it would be interesting to see a MP live on the money the government payout to small business owners and swap places with them for a year.
I apologize if I offend anyone reading this with my language but some people really are trying to make something of themselves and do not want to get into debt by getting loans/grants and simply need some help financially or help with getting more leads for free.
Some people may be disabled and may not be able to work in a normal working environment and choose self employment as one of their options other than being on the dole for the rest of their lives.
I have not really spoken with any small business owners on the subject but I am sure there are plenty of lone parents out there that support young adults whilst they are in college whilst juggling a small business and decreased revenue because of the ‘Coronavirus Pandemic’.
There Are Many Dr Evil’s In This World, Disguised!
It is society’s fault and a contributing factor that people suffer from depression!
For the landlords that increase your rent and expect you to find the money within a month are just plain greedy and ruthless without empathy, they should increase the rent by the Bank of England Rate of Inflation which is 2.5 %, NOT 14% as in my case.
My landlord said due to the fact his insurance has gone up because of the pandemic and the annual electricity check and extra alarms fitted, he has had to increase the rent by £960 per annum. I also have business insurance and my insurance has NOT gone up. He thinks I am stupid.
I will ride the wave and when I am finished I will create my own tsunami.
Interview with Prince Harry & Megan Markle Suicidal Thoughts.
As most of you have already seen, heard and read Oprah Winfrey had an interview with Prince Harry and Megan Markle, so I won’t bore you with what he said she said, I just want to address a couple of things that were said by Piers Morgan in the afermath of the airing of the interview last night.
First of all anyone that has suicidal thoughts regardless if they are a celebrity, royalty or the guy or girl on the street should not be mocked or scutinised. They should be given the support they need regardless of social status and certainly should not ridiculed on television.
Mental Health is not a thing you can switch off and on when you please. Mental Health can sometimes linger for years without the right support, therapy and medication. The onset of a traumatic event can cause a person to have suicidal thoughts and simply critising someone and making them into a mcockery can actually do more harm than good.
For Piers Morgan to MOCK Megan it just tells me he is a pompous pretentious full of himself narcissistic bully.
No one in their right mind would ever admit to having suicidal thoughts publically unless they actually did experience it for the fear of being scrutinised even further, which in turn causes a viscious cycle and ones mental health continues to go down a downward spiral.
For Piers to mock Megan and accuse both Prince Harry and Megan of having some sort of vendetta on the whole of the Royal Family as Racist is utterly ridiculous and I quote “Megan Markle called the Royal Family a Racist Institution” according to Piers. Not once did Megan ever say that. That is why we have bad press because the opinion of one journalist can be misconstrude.
Furthermore Megan and Harry were not divuldging the name of one individual, that does not mean that they were saying anything bad about the Royal Family, they were just being tactful. Does it really matter who insinuated about the ‘colour of the skin’ of the unborn child, at the end of the day no one is going to admit to being racist even though they may think that way.
Will it be in public’s interest to know the name of the person, personally speaking I do not think so. So for Piers to demand to know the name of the person is wrong and Megan and Harry should not be put in that position.
Besides and this is a general question why does it matter what colour of someone’s skin may or may not look like?
Whoever asked that question is racist, there is no doubt in my mind.
Anyone asking the question would been deemed as discriminating or racist, regardless of who was asking the question Royal or not.
In fact listening to the interview Megan and Harry did not say anything derogatory about the Royal Family. All they said was that they did not get the support they needed or the security and Prince Harry was financially cut off and Prince Charles at one stage was not accepting Prince Harry’s calls.
I have shared the ‘Good Morning Britain’ episode and how Piers Morgan sunk his teeth into the interview and basically mocked Megan Markle and called her a ‘ruthless social climber’. How is trying to survive deemed as ruthless?
Also with any church wedding their is also a registrar signing, if both Harry & Megan decided not to have that televised, which Piers has made a mountain out of a mole hill, why is that such a shocker, some things need to be private and sentimental and not everything needs to be public?
Finally it is no ones business who should be invited to a wedding and Piers had no right to call out Oprah Winfrey for attending, I am sure there were many more guests that attended that Megan and Harry may or may not have met more than once.
Piers said no one attented the wedding on Megan’s side of the family, if you remember Megan’s mother attended the wedding and her father was in hosipital.
As for Trisha Goddard I cannot fault her for calling Piers a “Bully Piers” and he woud be the star of the show. The reason I do not watch ‘Good Morning Britain’ as I do not want to contribute towards Piers Morgan pay cheque. As long as he is on the show I will not watch it. The clip I embedded was off ‘Youtube’ and is circling on ‘Facebook’, but actively I will never watch the show as long he is on there.
Whatever happens behind closed doors should stay behind closed doors and if the couple wanted to share their side of the story, all I can say there two sides to every story and someone in the palace needs to speak up and say theirs.
At the end of the day we may never know what actually happened and it is unfortunate that it has come to this and caused a media frenzy.
I wish both Prince Harry & Megan and their children a way to mend and heal and build bridges with their extended family. I wish them a future where they will be happy and will be successful whatever path they choose and get the support they need.
At the end of the day “todays news will be old news tomorrow” and rekindling family bonds are most important.
“I wish for a happy ending and everyone can play happy families again”.
What Appliance Retailers Do Not Tell You (Part 4 Ongoing Saga).
The Affects Of Mental Health When You Have to Raise a Complaint With a Company.
As you many of you may or may not know I am an Entrepreneur a own several sites, blogs or social media pages, my default virtual business card is www.renataentrepreneur.com
Primarily I advise Businesses how to generate more leads and consult them to make their business more successful. I also offer other services, such as website design and marketing.
Now I would also like to say I suffer with Mental Health and have a blog dedicated to Mental Health and Disabilities amongst Entrepreneurs. That is why I am keeping my chat widget on from 11am to 11pm London GMT over the Holidays, just in case anyone wishes to talk over the Christmas Period. If I can help just one person I know I will have done something good. Depression can affect people from all walks of life. Christmas can be extremely challenging and can test our resilience. By trying to help others I am essentially helping myself.
Do watch the full interview with Tyson Fury on Mental Health.
“Christmas is not about receiving it is about giving”.
They offered me a £75 e-voucher and my refund of a £100 for installation to be escalated on the 21st December 2020. My cooker was delivered on the 17th December 2020 and I was told I had to wait three to five working days to get my refund.
Moving forward to yesterday which would have been the 5th working day I still had not received my refund. I questioned it with customer services and I was told the reason i did not get my refund was due to a system error and guess what I now have to wait another three to five working days. This did not sit well with me at all. Although the customer service person said today it can take up to seven working days. Last time I transferred money from one account to another took two hours by BACS transfer.
By coincidence I got an email from head office yesterday saying I will be getting my refund.
“What happened to we are sorry and we will escalate it for you”? No mention of that in the email or anything about the e-voucher either.
So like a dog to a bone I will not let go until I get answers and if it means me using my blog to get the attention so be it.
You do not give people the run around no matter what business you are in. It does not say anything good about you or your company. Just because you are blue chip company this does not bother me in the slightest, you should care about your customers. A CEO had to start off somewhere and may have been a startup once.CEO’s are human no different to you and I and they should show empathy and respect.
“No company should be too big for their bootsand everyone is accountable for their actions”.
So my final attempt today I tried phoning them yet again and their answering bot is designed to mentally break you down, It does not recognise order numbers and when it asks what you are ringing up for, it does not understand your reply.
I had visions of me hurling my phone through the air and smashing it against the wall by this stage.
Furthermore when you finally get through it says all calls are recorded. Now the person I spoke to today misunderstood something I said whereby I would continue recording with my blog in a quest to finally get this resolved. Yet he thought I said I was recording the call. Do people not understand English? My English is perfect I have had 57 years to practice it.
“I want a transcript of all the calls I have made and received as that is my legal right.“
Obviously they can record you without your consent but you cannot record them, not that I had any attention of doing so anyway, one rule for one and another rule for another.
If this was someone with Multiple Sclerosis phoning today, they would be having a relapse due to the run around of this company. I have knowledge of Multiple Sclerosis as my daugher suffers with the disability.
Consider peoples mental health before you start playing mind games. The customer service person today told me someone will phone me back about the e-voucher, that can not be located by coincidence.
“I do not want to be phoned”.
My telephone lines are turned off for a reason because of this little incident and I can only be reached by my chat widget on my websites or via email or social media platforms.
What is the problem have I offended Argos in some way for speaking the truth, they should have mentioned about like for like and hotzones on their site and perhaps all this could ve been avoided?
Do not offer a token of apology and then retract it.
To be messed around like this is totally atrocious.
“Show Respect and You Will Earn Resspect !”
“I will give this company one more chance to make amends and perhaps finally will say that after everything they will come out smelling of roses”
Merry Christmas Everyone and a Happy New Year.
I received my refund of a £100 on the 24th December 2020 I assume just after my phone call to Argos.
Christmas was cancelled for me as I could not cook anyone a Christmas Dinner and did not think it was apropriate to offer frozen ready meals heated up in a microwave so no one came to visit me and I was left home alone with the cat. Worst Christmas ever and Worst Year.
As for the offering of the £75 e-voucher that did not materialise either. I should not have to beg to get it.
In all this whole scenario has tested my strength and my mental health ability.
I would have been content with a formal apology from the CEO but obviously he forgets that once he started out where I am today. You never know oneday he maybe brushing shoulders with me, considering the small world we live in and the people I am connected with. With nearly 10,000 followers such as Billionaires, Millionaires, Law Makers and Royalty on LinkedIn it pays to remember “it’s not what you know but who you know”.
Tis the season to be jolly. Christmas Holiday Season is meant to be filled with happiness and cheer, with social gatherings and celebrations and gifting. But this year is like no other.
Aswell as all the things that some people are not looking forward to this time of year, we have the added bonus of the Coronavirus Covid-19 Pandemic and limited houeshold meetups.
For many people, it is a time filled with sadness, self-reflection, loneliness, and anxiety.
The demands of making your Christmas perfect may cause us to be on the verge of a mental breakdown with rushing around shopping for gifts, food and outfits as well as organising parties. Even having more people than normal can cause us to be stressed as we want the turkey and trimmings to be impressive and we have to be protray everything is hunkey dorey even though we may be having a nervous meltdown. If we have to balance entrepreneurship on top, we can end up feeling overwhelmed.
Most CEO’s if you ask them how their business is doing will without a shadow of doubt say “Everything is Great”. No one wants to admit failure or tell the real truth. Being honest by saying your business has problems is a sign of weakness and no one want to look stupid or inadequet for failing. Some people are just waiting for you to fail just to say “I told you so”, hence CEO’s will always show they are doing great.
Entrepreneurs are:2x more likely to suffer from depression
People who normally do not view themselves as depressed may develop symptons, such as:
Depression, crying a lot or wanting to stay in bed all day
Induldging in too much alcohol
Wanting to Isolate
Balancing your home and your business can lead to a lot of tension. Christmas is also a financial burden with us over spending or not budgeted properly and perhaps not having enough funds. Sometimes it can be difficult to gift a large household and extended family and friends. It is this time of year that people spend by maxing out their credit cards. However whilst spending it does not hurt in the short term, however when it comes to pay at the end of the month in the long term that is when people feel they are in hot water and start to get depressed even more.. Knowing how to budget your money will either make you or break you.
People do not look forward to Christmas for a number of reasons:
Financial Burden & Obligations
Loneliness (perhaps they have no family or friends)
Grief (the loss of a person through death or breakup can be very traumatic and painful to handle)
Mental Health Issues (Depression, PTSD, Anxiety) Perhaps they do not want reminders of the past
Social Disconnection (finding it hard to socialise)
Not getting along with some family members and the awkwardness of reuniting once a year
Dealing with alcoholism surrounded by people who are drinking
Paying Christmas Bonuses (no having enough funding)
Having your business restricted due to pandemic regulations causing you to have financial difficultues (businesses closing for good or laying off staff)
Not being able to travel because of pandemic regulations
Illness, not being mobile (disabled) or may be in hospital
People expecting life changing surgeries and are worried about the aftermath and are living an uncertainty such as organ transplants or heart surgery
How to overcome Christmas Blues
Set goals and have a plan of action, prioritise the most important things on your schedule of things to do
Budget your finances (Do not overspend)
Pace yourself do not bite off more than you can chew
Be realistic with your expectations, do not raise yourself up for disappointment and compare your day to previous days
Ask for support from your network of family and friends ask them to bring a dish if your struggling financially, everyone loves home made food and treats
If you are lonely volunteer to help other people in the same situation as yourself. Network with organisations that specialise in getting lonely people together at Christmas or volunteer to work over the Christmas holidays
If you have friends or family struggling with alcoholism make your celebrations alcohol free
If you know of an elderly person home alone at christmas spread some Christmas Cheer by gifting them and looking in on them to see if they are ok
Make handmade gifts which will save you money, write handmade notes for old people and neighbours, leave notes around randomly for strangers to pick up (secret santa speacial message notes) Send out emails and messsages and e-cards
Make your own decorations, there is a picasso in all of us
Make some time for yourself, pamper yourself or as I do each year, I always buy myself a Christmas present so that I am never disappointed.
Make an effort to contact friends and family that you may not have had the opportunity to connect with because of distance or pandemic restrictions (Set up Video calls)
Personally speaking I do not look forward to Christmas other than maybe going to a fancy restaurant (which is not going to happen this year) or viewing the Christmas lights and visiting the Christmas Markets.
Christmas will never be the same again and I miss the family congregation that we spent the holidays at my parents house. Since they have gone I only have my daughter and the cat, so Christmas can be lonely at times. She is in a relationship so I find I am sharing her with ther boyfriend.
I do not bother with Christmas decorations as who is going to see them anyway and do not like to socialise so I concentrate on what matters the most to me and that is my business. Before you read in between the lines I am not interested in getting into a relationship, have been burnt too many times.
Not everyone I am connected with is Catholic or Christian, I am fortunate to also have Muslim friends so its not as if I cannot reach out to anyone if I wanted to.
I cannot bring my parents or my brother back but I can move on and have set myself some goals which I am striving to acheive. I want to make changes to my life and I know nothing stands still so I know with perserverance when one door closes another one opens.
I must admit I do not foresake Christmas Dinner regardless if it only dinner for one, I will splash out with all the trimmings and the extras and have the best of the best and feast like a Princess.
Remember there is always someone that you can chat to over the holiday period, you do not have to do it alone. If you are struggling you can phone the Samaritans on 116 123
I wrote on my other blog about Mental Health Amongst Entrepreneurs and there are some useful links should you need some support at this difficult time.
My Favourite Treats, Should Anyone Want To Gift MeAre:
Do you get that feeling somedays when you wonder about the meaning of life and why things are going slow or not going right for you at all. Do you sometimes wish you could stay in bed and let the world pass you by?
I am not the type of person that could stay in bed all day sleeping or doing nothing but I do have low moments which spurred me to write a post on my blog “Disabled Entrepreneur”.
Today I was lacking motivation. I really did not want to do anything other than binge watch movies and comfort eat, but some how got round to writing two motivational posts.
People of all walks of life have problems and may not feel up to par, that is why I wrote this post to give people incentives.
I know a lot of people are struggling right now with their mental health. Some may have lost their jobs or may be confined to their homes alone, some may be grieving. Any one of these factors can trigger depression.
You have to know you are not alone and there are people out there you can talk to. If you are feeling alone you can talk to a friend, family member or neighbour. You can even join online group chats and forums but if you feel none of these options are suitable you can also call the Samaritans on 116 123
To be honest I have my own demons I wrestle with but most days I can keep them at bay and bury them under a work load of paperwork. Occasionally they rear their ugly heads and its at those moments that I get deflated, which isn’t often. I always make sure I have plenty to do.
Remember you have to train your brain to think differently. If you are procrastinating you will never succeed.
You need to find the courange to let go of what is holding you back and move on. You may think what do I know, well let me tell you, I am still grieving a decade later but I know feeling sorry for myself is not going to get me anywhere so I push myself to carry on.
I do not rely on anyone to help me or motivate me. I motivate myself. My mind & body is my temple and I worship it.
It has come to my attention today a letter that has been lying in the hallway for about a week and not addressed to me personally but addressed to the house with a header title ‘Water Leak‘ in the window of the envelope, which was theoretically meant for the flat below me as they had a leak about a month ago. So with seeing the header title I left the letter assuming it must have been for the tenants downstairs.
So what has changed well the letter was opened not by me may I add or my daughter and was left in the corridor for all to see. I have for convenience sake added the letter into this post.
Now if you go back about a month Welsh Water did come and visit the property and cut off the mains water supply to both properties yet the leak was not my leak but a leak from downstairs in one of the bedrooms.
Obviously this angered me as the water supply is for two seperate properties within one property and I have my own water bill.
So you can understand my distain when I read a letter that is not addressed to me personally as both flats pay for water seperately and because Welsh Water had visited the property and had found the leak you would think they would in their corresspondence contact my landlord through ‘Rent Smart Wales‘ or contact the tenants directly.
For some reason I think this is a scam and when I phoned the number it went to O2 voicemail.
Furthermore they say they have attempted to visit and contact the property owner/occupiers on several occassions. I have surveillance security cameras fitted outside the front door and no one came to visit I can assure them of that. So on top of the threatening letter they also lie through their teeth.
The leak has nothing to do with me I am a seperate tenant and the date to make contact with them has surpassed. Its only a matter of time before my landlord gets wind if this or Welsh Water cut off my water supply (bring it on, let a law suit begin if they waste my time).
I have written about these blue chip companies before that do not take into consideration people’s mental state of health and have no empathy what so ever. Receiving a ‘Nasty Letter‘ only makes matters worse. (My mental state has already worsened as now I am anxious about their next move and am worried they may cut me off even though it has nothing to do with me). I am now having trouble focusing, yet another obstacle thrown my way.
Its not my job to do their job and contact the landlord seeing as the water leak was not in my flat and the letter was not even addressed to me.
As far as I am concerned the leak has been fixed and the tenant would have said something as her latest update was for a replacement carpet that my landlord had promised her and she is still waiting for it to materialise.
I will back my landlord up if he gets any s#@t from them. There is absolutely no excuse to not do their job properly regardig if there is a pandemic or not.
Final Foot Note: This is for all home owners if there is a water leak, it should be up to the water suppier to fix the leak and not the home owner. If the water supplier has corroded old mains pipes that spring leaks surely it is not the home owners responsibility to fix the problem? Afterall a water supplier cannot just supply you water until they can see that the water pipes are good working order. If you built the house yourself and laid down your own pipes that would be a different story as you would be responsible for your own pipes. But if it is a mains problem then it should be the water supplier that should foot the bill and not you.
I am merely a tenant that lives upstairs so I should not be held responsible for the water pipes or the leak that did not even come from my flat. Yet the letter was not addressed to anyone in particular just the occupier. Yet the occupier of the original leak was my neighbour and Welsh Water have threatened to cut off the water supply to the whole building rather than to just one flat. Since when am I tangled up in the S@#t when its not even my own fault.
WELSH WATER (DWRCYMRU) do your job properly!!!!!!…..
I managed to get hold of Welsh Water via Facebook Messenger and explained that they need to get hold of the tenant below me and the landlord and address the letters properly.
I also explained that I was feeling unwell because of their incompetence and their reply was “Im sorry for the letter causing you stress” (I’M SORRY) is not going to put food on the table in which I rightly told them so.
Yet wait for this they have asked me to forward the letter to my landlord. “I’m Sorry” but the last time I looked I charge for this service and have literally received another message from them in which I told them what I have told you.
I will not give my landlords name due to Data Protection and told them to find out his name themselves via Rent Smart Wales or the Land Registry or simply write a letter to the occupiers of the flat below me and ask them to pass the letter on.
My landlord has fixed the leak so why are they sending threatening letters?
I will update further if this escalates into something.
As most of you are already aware I do have suffer with insecurities and I am sure I am not alone when it comes to saying that no matter how hard I try to prove to people that I am know what I am doing people still seem to find a way to judge me and I feel they do not trust me even though I have not given any reason to feel this way. Is it paranoia pehaps?
I have been judged all my life and I do try to not let it get to me at most part but sometimes it is really hard. I will give you and example yesterday and today I posted a crowd funding project with the hope that people will help to fund it so that I can employ 2 people full time at a mnimum wage of £8.75 an hour for at least 4 months. Now you may think so what was so wrong with that afterall I am trying to better myself well the problem is some of my connections have disappeared on LinkedIn and I don’t know why?
Now I have tried to be as transparent as I can and even wrote a Business Plan for people to read. Either they do not want me to succeed and are jealous or they do not believe in me or it could be LinkedIn themselves that have glitched out somehow.
I have in the past been trolled and humiliated and even been accused of things that really saddened me. But I try to keep my head up and think oh well, “it your loss as I will succeed with or without your help”.
So just like I tell my readers I also tell myself:
Don’t let it phase you. I am not saying all people are narrow minded but we have all been burned at some point in our lives by people we have trusted. I am not alone as people have scammed me due to my trusting nature. However I have learnt from my mistakes and know what to look for if someone has ulterior motives. So I understand that people can be less trusting especially if they have encountered bad business through their employee, partner or client. It could be a number of different things that people find distrusting about you and you should not take it personally. Its their opinion and no one elses.
Gaining their trust. Always keep your head up high and do not let your insecurities get to you. Let people gain their trust in you by you offering them incentives or offers they cannot refuse. Once you deliver outstanding services, work and results only then will they change their opinion about you. Try to be their friend and not be so formal. Sometimes being to business like can be very cold which sends out singles that may look like you are superior or have something to hide. Try being natural so that they can learn what you are about.
Don’t be afraid to speak your mind. Just as I am doing here I have literally told the world who I am and what I am about. I do not paint myself to be anything other than what you read about on my blogs. Just because people do not trust you don’t let it it prevent you from being the awesome person you are. (I know I’m awesome and tell myself that everyday), thats not me being conceited it ‘s me boosing my moral.
Alway remember someone else’s opinion is not your opinion and if that is how they feel its their problem not yours and it is not your fault.
We all feel low from time to time and our self esteem becomes questionable. Some people deal with these issues differently to others. I tend to switch off from the world when it gets too much for me. I need to re-charge my batteries and come back with a clear mind.
Have you noticed how people with a lot of money and I am not talking about everyone but even with a lot of money they have insecurities and mental health issues like depression? How many actors (A-Listers have had alcohol dependency issue, when in theory they never have to worry about putting food on the table or have a roof over their heads but they still drink themselves stupid or take drugs)? I often think if I had so much money that I did not know what to do with, I would not be depressed and my insecurities would diminish to next to nothing. But you cannot speak about everyone as each and every one of us has different opinons and beliefs and differrent mental states.
Each person is different, there are many factors, including social class, cultural background, child and life experiences, race, gender, personal relationshionships worth environment etc, that can make us feel insecure with low self esteem. We cannot change our past but we can change how we feel now and for the future. Just because people do not trust you, thats their problem not yours. You just need to be able to rise above it.
Genes and Temperament
Our self-confidence is built into our brains at birth. We are molded genetically and studies have shown our genetic makeup affects the feeling of confidence-boosting chemicals (Serotonin) our brain can access through receptors. It is also thought that 25 to 50 percent of the traits linked to confidence may be genetically inherited. Our personality can also stem from temperament
Serotonin, a neurotransmitter associated with feeling of happiness and Oxytocin can both be triggered by certain genetic variations. especially when confronted with a situation known as “behavioral inhibition.” one can to start to question logic of the situation. Not everyone impulsively jumps into every situation, some who tread with caution and are reserved may let self esteem elude them.
Certain life experinces can lead to feeling completely unsure about oneself or even the feeling of worthlessness.
Trauma.When someone has experienced traumatic life changing experiences such as physical and mental abuse, rape or sexual assualt, public humiliation, judged, discriminated and death of a loved one, this can play on ones mind and unless the memories are erased a person can be tormented indefinately. As a consequence the persons self confidence and esteem will be very low and they may feel ashamed of their experiences and embarresed aswell as devasted and feeling lost and empty. A breakup, divorce or seperation can be equally devasting to loosing some one thorugh death and the effects on a person mind can be debilitating.
OurParenting. The way we have been brought up determins how we are shaped. I four up bringing was of neglect we will show signs later on in our adult life that may mirror how our parents treated us. As an example if a parent who constantly belittled you, compared you to others, or told you that you were worthless and would never amount to anything, you would eventually believe them thorugh brain washing. Depending how you parents treated you, will depend on your mental state of mind later on in life. My father was really strict and everything had to be done his way or not at all and if we misbehaved we were belted. That has be one of the contributing factors of my insecurities to this day, although other life changing traumatic events have made me who I am today.
Bullying, humiliation, discrimination and harrassment. I remember when I was in infants and could not speak English but understood to a certain degree what the other children were saying, I remember having my blazer spat on and being pushed down some concrete steps to a gravel laiden payground where I suffered gashes to my face. Then in senior years the bullies would wait for me outside the school gates where I would get numerous kickings. Therfore from childhood bullying left a mark on my confidence. This in turn continued into my adult years with my abusive ex.
Bullies will bully you when it comes to your appearance, your intellectual and athletic abilities and so on, aswell as other areas of your life, because a bully is also insecure and will try to take the onus away from them in order for them to feel momentarily better about themselves by degarading another person.
Humiliating experiences in adulthood, including public humiliation by people in authority and in the workplace or a peer group that disrespects or demeans you will cause you to question yourself and your abilities as you have been told by someone else this is what you are supposed to believe. However people whom humiliate you are more inadequate because if they felt good about themselves there would be no need to undermine you to make themselves feel better and more powerful.
DiscriminationGender, race, and sexual orientation. Studies have shown women are socialized to worry more about how they’re perceived.
A womens racial, social class, cultural background and sexual orientation can also cause a women to suffer low self esteem. A woman that has been on a receiving end of discrimination may have internalized some negative, untrue messages about her worth and true potential and whether she“belong.” However this also applies to other genders also and people perceived to be worthless will eventually believe they are and will not take risks in order to better themselves.
Lack of knowledge
Someone full of confidence does not care how they are perceived as in their mind they are on a pedestal and no one can take that away from them, however a person that lacks self confidence needs to reassure themselves that they are confident and this in turn leads to insecurities where they question themselves and find faults which leads them to failure. Not be certain of your circumstnces or lack of knowledge of your surroundings can manifest into insecurities.
On the contrary a person who is a perfectionist also suffers with low self esteem as they have to battle to have everything perfect all the time in order to be accepted as a confident person.
How the Media Perceives People
You have heard it before “Sex Sells”. All the glossy magazines, billboards and catwalk runnways are targeted for women always having a beautiful women on their covers or super skinny top models strutting their stuff down the catwalks. Products and Fashion is advertised always by beautiful looking men and women. Its is drummed into our heads that this is how we are supposed to look and the average looking person will always feel inadequate by their looks because they can never achieve the same standards as that of these good looking people who are portrayed to be the ideal perfect looking person.
But the ideal look does not stop on the catwalk it has infiltrated social media channels with adverts and influencers making the virtual world look like reality but really it is fantasy in most cases, superficially imposed, yet we are supposed to believe what we see even though our lives are not perfect, we start to show less confidence in ourselves when we see other people looking so perfect with their perfect lives and women looking like super models, showing off flashy houses and cars. We live in a materialistic superficial world and we too also want to have luxuries with little effort but in most cases that is virtually impossible. Yet in reality the people that post online are heavily curated and edited. Everyone has bad days, self-doubt, and physical imperfections and it is drummed into our heads each and every day that in order to look like a certain person we need to mirror them, which sometimes is rarely possible to achieve.
Anxiety and Depression
Low Self esteem and low self confidence causes people to doubt their state of mind and their abilities which in turn causes anxiety and depression which go hand-in-hand.
There are a few self help books that I have posted below, just in case you are feeling low. However do speak with your GP if things are getting out of control.
Remember when someone says something bad about you are shows you no support and you feel they do not have confidence in you, let them think what they like afterall you are not indebted to the them and you do not have to prove anything, just be yourself. It’s their opinion and not the rest of the worlds.
I know what I am worth and I do not have to prove anything to anyone.
All I can say is: “if you do not believe in me then its your loss”.
If you found this post useful, please like comment and share to help spread awareness.
I have decided to update this post as I am glad to say that my connection drop the other day must have been a LinkedIn glitch as I know have all my connections back:
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